How to recognize a GAY among us!!!

Guys normally like watching sports, fixing the gadgets up, pretending to know about car engines, etc. Have you ever wonder how do you locate the GAY among you,,, well the wait is over. (Note: I have nothing against gay people)

1.If a guy has a habit of turning his wrist in 90 degree and standing in S shape then he gotta be definitely gay.

2. If all bros are checking out a girl and someone turns and says he has something important to do. Make sure you look at his facial expression.

3. If a guy speaks with a sound of less than 50 DB. It has been scientifically proven that inside a valley such people cannot make echo.

4. All bros are standing in a group and having some fun subject, out of nowhere if one of them wants to hold your pinky

5. If a guy like to watch Twilight movie without he being forced to watch cause of the girls they know.

6. Guy who makes the "Awwww" sound when he see a puppy. You know that sound that girls make when they see a baby?

7. Guy who watch Justin Bieber songs while staring at him. Thinking of Raj from Karan Johar Movies

8. If a guy insists to drink from a water bottle without using a glass or straw; and while doing so if he is enjoying to have the bottle entirely in his mouth.

9. A guy with zero curiosity of his any gadgets be it car, mobile, laptop, even USB for that matter.

10. While playing ping pong ball (TT), no matter what kind of shot he has to take, if he always holds the bat facing straight up and down, playing like a sissy boy.

11. Guy who wears skinny jeans, likes to hug other buddies,,,, sometime spank them for nothing...

12. A guy who eats/licks ice-cream, Barfacha gola, choco bar, pepsi cola, in a weired way.

13. They seem attracted to objects like pen, pencil, watter bottles.

14. Always like to be in the middle of a sandwich - (On bikes to be specific)

Murphy's law about Girls

Other night, I realized something: I talk a lot about women on my blog. And while that’s great and my advice has led to innumerable amounts of lay age, sometimes it leaves other things by the wayside. May be Murphy didn’t get time to write blogs but he too believed that his rules get applied to girls.

1. Beautiful girl always have a boyfriend. Well what, guy standing next to her is her brother? … ‘in your dreams’ – don’t be stupid  it’s her BOYFRIEND.

2. Theory of relativity

• Hotter she become, faster she will dump you.
• More you are attracted towards a chick, the farer she goes.
• Amount of makeup seen on girl’s face is directly proportional to how worse she looks.
• The more seriously you like a girl…the more seriously her dad will hate you
• Longer the time she spends in mall the quicker your wallet is empty

3. When I was in college, I studies the Murphy’s chapter ‘95% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 5% would always be in your college.’ I approve this one.

4. If by any chance the girl you like; likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed or married.

5. If she likes you but you don’t and you try to ignore her then she is definitely going to be around you.

6. Kumh ka mela rule: When you two are out there somewhere at nicest scenic place, you are about to open your heart towards feeling you have, she will mention long lost friend (probably from Kumbha ka mela)

7. Corollary to rule of Kumha ka mela: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

8. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when

• You are dressed badly or haven’t bath for a reason
• You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
• Have a bad hair day

9. If you are on date with her (early dates), if she eats less she is more likely attracted to you. True Story.

10. If your girlfriend says she is cool with your closed gal buddy, well she is not. Do so at your own risk.

11. In theory – girls are way too attracted towards mirror than any living or dead thing on this planet.

12. No matter how hot or unhot a girl is eventually you will like her. It’s called Mermaid theory.

How to Check Out a Girl Without Her Noticing

Have you always wanted to look at a girl without making it obvious? Well, if you follow this advice, you can!

Steps

1. Try not to stare. If you are sitting behind her and see her thong and want to look, just glance slightly for a couple of seconds, and look away.
2. Be extremely careful when looking at cleavage. Try doing this while you are standing or sitting next to her, and looking sideways, so it looks as discreet as possible. Try to look from a downward angle like sitting on a table or stand if she's sitting. Or an even better way is to wear a pair of mirrored sunglasses that way you can look and she won't be able to tell where you are looking.
3. Also, if you want to get a good feel of how a girl looks, make one quick glance and check to see if she's looking your way. If she isn't, look again and look up and down fairly quickly (not too fast cause you won't gain any info, but not so slow that everyone notices) and then turn away
4. Wait until she's busy. There's a great chance she won't catch you looking at her when she isn't paying attention.

Tips

• Don't be a pervert, a girl will notice and you could get in trouble, even with the law in some severe cases.
• Make sure to be discreet, a girl that sees you staring at her will get intimidated and probably slap you.
• Try to look off the corner of your eye.
• Remember: If you can see her eyes, she can see you!
• If she's with a crowd of friends, make sure none of them are looking at you either. If they see you, they'll tell her (not good)!
• Wear sunglasses

Warnings

Don't ever touch a girl that doesn't want to be touched, you could get expelled from college, office and probably get arrested if you're office or something.

Do not even think of following her, you could end up in a jail cell. Remember following can be classed as stalking which is a criminal offense.

Even if she doesn't know you're checking her out, other people might. You wouldn't believe how obvious it can look. Be discreet!

मी कधीच रिस्क घेत नाही ...!!!

 

The Amazing Weight Loss Program

A fat guy named Suprasad saw "lose 5kg in a week" in newspaper.
He calls the company & lady says be ready tomorrow at 6 am.

The next morning Suprasad opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes, underpants & shirt saying "u catch me u f**k me! & the girl starts running.
Suprasad starts running but doesn't catch her.

So during the whole week Suprasad tried to catch her but couldn't.
However he loses 5 kg.

He then asks for the 10 kg program.

Next morning at 6 Suprasad opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thong & a shirt saying "u catch me u f**k me".
He loses 10 kg dat week.

So he thought this program is awesome!
Lets try the 25 kg so he asked for the 25 kg but the lady said r u sure its really tough.

Next day at 6 Suprasad opens the door expecting to see a fabulous babe but finds a Negro Gay in just underwear saying 'If I catch u I will f**k u!'

That week Suprasad lost 30 kgs..!
 

THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN WOMEN AND FISH

Finally with the help of Barney Stinson the complete list of 24 similarities between Fish and Women, I added some flavors to match up what would I come up with.

1. Both attracted to shiny objects
2. More fun to catch while drinking
3. Neither travel well (I meant drive but you would think I am crazy)
4. Both are slim mostly
5. Girls don't get bored in a mall. like fishes don’t get bored in an aquarium
6. Short term memory ( if you disagree, see fish roaming within a fish pond like it forgets from where it came from)
7. Three words: catch and release
8. Both travel in protective groups
9. Small bladders
10. The deeper you go, the scarier they get
11. Their weight largely determines their value
12. They are oddly attracted to color
13. They want their mates to be big and strong
14. Both wild and farm raised have their benefits
15. You must document great catches or no one will believe you -- video preferred
16. They keep opening their mouths, but nothing important comes out
17. Cold blooded
18. Neither can operate a vehicle
19. They both eat things
20. The harder they shake their tail, the farther they'll go in life
21. Scales are important to each of them
22. They never have to buy drinks or pay dinner
23. Both can swim well
24. Untrained dogs just don’t know how to properly catch or handle them